1.

This name belongs to my younger sister, the fifth born. Tariro means “hope” and oh gosh, have I had a tumultuous relationship with this word. Sometimes, I have experienced it as either a conduit or a segway into a constant state of stuck-ness. I have a cultural and a biblical understanding of the word, and I believe it is the bible that said hope deferred makes the heart sick right? This was one of the ways I experienced this word. There were many moments where it felt like I was living in a state of perpetual deferment, needless to say I did feel absolutely sick about it. Time is weird that way, especially where pain is concerned. It either feels like it’s moving too fast, too slow or in stasis.

For me, it was all three depending on the day or moment lol. But radical healing truly does manifest itself that way wouldn’t you agree? I was in a place where I was broken open, broken enough to break some more without breaking completely. That is a delicate line that only God masterfully executes, and I have major respect for the Creator in that regard. I can see why tools such as faith, hope and love are what God directs us to use as we walk our way to our assured.What has ‘Hope’ done for me then? Well, I woke up one day and said to myself, I am exactly who I think I am aren’t I? And I started laughing because it was actually true. Whether I knew it or not, there was always some kind of balance that existed within me especially during challenging times.

2.

A balance that ‘hope’ helped co-create because as much as I didn’t always believe in myself, I hoped that what I knew or thought or felt about myself, was steeped in some kind of truth. I held on to that belief until I could come up for air to breathe. The unbowed spirit in me would whisper this hopeful prayer “you are exactly who you have always thought you were”. You know that feeling when your heart smiles, with gleeful anticipation and a grace that only God can give you.I get that feeling every time I say that prayer to myself now. I am exactly who I have always thought I was. I am talking about what is pure and unfettered, what is not tainted by the opinions of others and marred by how we harm ourselves.

3.

As for that tumultuous experience with hope I mentioned earlier. I remember hearing Jim Carrey say he wasn’t a fan of hope. That he believed hope “was a beggar” and that faith was more crucial. I honor his vantage point, and I even understand it. But hope means something different to me because of how I decide to wear my African history and descendancy.

Hope is a part of the trio I mentioned earlier (faith, hope and love) for a reason because in my perspective and experience, they all work together – on repeat. It is a cyclical process in some ways because as Life ebbs and flows, so do the tools we need depending on the situation. I have faced some things that have made me lose faith and hope helped to remind me why faith matters. I have given up on hope and have felt misguided by it at some point, then love helped restore my hope in humanity and in myself once again.

Love’s pinions have torn me up and dragged me through the mud, but faith and hope would whisk me up and through until I could see things properly again.Perspective changes everything as they say. Hope is an important pillar of living and processing life’s hardships, a pillar of welcoming in life’s invitation to imagine better for ourselves and a pillar to willingly engage in life’s seemingly unpredictable waves. God, my loved ones and the unbowed spirit within cheers me on and hope remains one of the northern stars I choose to follow. May you choose to remain unbowed, that is my hope!