1.

I decided to write a series titled “The day I saw Her” to celebrate the women who have inspired and fortified me during this healing expedition. My mother once told me one of the greatest loves one can behold is the love of an amazing friend, a sister-friend specifically. I got the chance to experience that love in multiple ways. What I have come to know about my journey is a lovely unfurling of feminine power. An unfurling that is both slow and fast, spontaneous and deliberate, fluid yet completely steadfast. As someone who absolutely enjoys upward movement in all things in my life, I was pleasantly surprised with the power of ‘feminine stasis’ a.k.a. stillness or calmness.

A kind of stasis that holds you in its loving arms as a caring mother does her child and sings you a lullaby. It helped me understand the importance of pit stops or pauses in our lives. It is not that I wasn’t aware of this power before, but the thing about healing is you get an opportunity to revisit certain things and see them differently. I had the opportunity to be enveloped in the glorious feeling of feminine protection. There’s magic in that cauldron of afro-feminine divine essence and it anchored me during this time in ways I cannot begin to explain. And I am grateful.

2.

The women I have written about in different mediums include my Gogo (grandmother), my mhamha (mother), Mama Maya Angelou, Mbuya Nehanda (a Zimbabwean historical figure) and my sisters (blood and chosen). There is a random yet clear list of my selected ‘Hers’ sprinkled across my blog, books and podcast appearances.

These are all women I looked to whilst revisiting what feminine divine power means to me and how it was expressing itself through me. There were moments where I felt like I was floating about, but also existing in a clear awakened state, straddling two worlds. What I’m attempting to do with this series is to be able to articulate how each woman affected me during these moments and how they helped me navigate those terrains.

I am pretty intentional about this gratitude practice more than I ever was before. Because I now recognize and understand that, as Mama Maya Angelou said, my crown was bought and paid for already. I have an opportunity to behold the feminine Self in ways some of my ancestors did not get a chance to. I know this fact intimately now.

3.

Some women (past and even present) never got a chance to actually create from a healing and/or healed place whilst others or realized part of their potential “too late”. The glory of feminine divine power, of the Afro Cauldron, is the ever-present support and guidance that beckoned me to listen and when I did, it propelled me forward. Our ancestors whisper from the Beyond all the time and in my case, they direct me, step by step, realization by realization, act of power by act of power. Sometimes it’s even in the little things and in the unknown things, that kind of support is so delightful.

It feels all at once as magical and as haunting as it sounds. Don’t get it twisted, the journey of unfurling one’s feminine divine energy is accompanied by the alchemical but it is also challenging. One requirement is to be willing to be surprised, so for those who are control freaks or cowardly, this journey is definitely not for you. The other requirement is to remain curious.

I led with this mantra: I am full of wonder, and I surprise myself often because my eyes are open to who I AM. Another deep revelation that occurred was that the experience of feminine power is in direct correlation to great stewardship, in all things. Healing is ALL about stewardship. I am reaping the rewards of pursuing this work of healing because it is a responsibility engraved in self-leadership. I want to make this clear, feminine leadership unfurls itself differently from masculine leadership.

4.

Great stewardship requires that I honor both because there is no competition here, regardless of how the world continually pushes this agenda. I am reaping the benefits of choosing that path because there is beauty in both, and even more importantly, wisely managing the balance of both is the truest unfurling of the Self.

Patience, kindness, and grit – qualities I needed throughout this journey and Grace met me at every turn too. To those women I am honoring in this series, thank you for your friendship, thank you for your guidance, thank you for all the ways you are magnificently flawed but continue to choose perseverance.Please forgive me, for all the ways I judged you because I misunderstood how your power unfurled itself, because I misunderstood your path to your truest Self.

Quite frankly, your path is none of my business. My true business in this magnificent love we share, is to be inspired by you, to learn from and with you, to edify and fortify, to pivot, to accept, to BE with you, and to step aside as you learn your lessons. “Love liberates”, that is what Mama Maya Angelou said and that is what your love has done for and to me. I honor you and your unbowed spirit with these words, ndatenda (thank you).

Call to action: Celebrate the women in your life who have been your guiding light & cheerleaders